I came across a book entitled, How We Die: Reflections on Life's Final Chapter by Sherwin Nuland, a surgeon who draws on his own experiences to give a compelling look on a topic that many people dread to think about: Death.  The subject of death is something that people try to avoid as much as possible, thinking it is bad feng shui or too morbid to talk about.

The reality is, death is inevitable.  "Every life is different from any that has gone before it, and so is every death," Nuland wrote.  He made an important assertion in his book that people can have the chance to die with dignity if one plans for it and especially, if you've had a good and productive life.

Like basketball, you can divide your life into four quarters.  The first quarter of your life is obviously your early teen years spent mostly in school.  The next is your adolescent period, with peers and friends figuring mostly in your existence.  The third quarter is when you start accomplishing things; raising a family and trying to make your mark in the world.  And the final quarter in one's life starts after 60 when you begin the journey toward the twilight of your years.  Perhaps this is the most important stage because this is when you start to plan for your next life.  Considering that the average life span of Filipinos is from 75 to 85, anything after that is already considered overtime.

I have known many people from all walks of life, and one thing I have learned through all these years is that death is the great equalizer.  Your stature in life, the riches you may have accumulated, all these become insignificant when you are about to face your Maker.

The most famous death is that of John F. Kennedy, who had a very violent death.  But because he died at such a young age, one could say that JFK's death was one of those which will be embedded in the memory of many generations all over the world, because he died at the height of his power and popularity.  Everybody remembers him as a handsome, young president, the Prince of Camelot who gave so much hope and pride to Americans.  So much so that notwithstanding the fact that he only had a thousand days as US President and despite Marilyn Monroe and other such controversies, he made such an impact on the American people.  He is an example of a man who was immortalized because of the manner by which he died.

In the Philippines, we too have a well-known assassinated political leader, Ninoy Aquino, whom I had the fortune to interview at his hotel suite in Tokyo several months before that fateful day in August of 1983.  Ninoy knew that he would be arrested the minute he set foot in the Philippines, but he was undaunted.  He was resolute in what he wanted to do, and not even the prospect of death could faze him.  He told me: Tell them to start cleaning their guns.  I am going home.  My hairs stood up on ends and right then and there, I thought to myself, this man is serious.  I believed then that he was ready to die because he had made his peace with God and with himself.

A friend of mine, Edvee Cruz, son of the late JV Cruz related a near-death experience when he went into cardiac arrest after a thyroid operation.  His heart had stopped beating and he had been pronounced clinically dead for a couple of minutes.  Edvee was oblivious of everything else that was happening around him, or of the people who were frantically trying to revive him to life.  He could remember walking towards a tunnel from where a faint glimmer of light appeared, becoming stronger and stronger as he went closer and closer.  At that instant, he regained consciousness and was revived.  Not many people can claim to have what Edvee experienced, but he was fortunate enough to have a second lease on life.  I always kid Edvee about his experience that maybe because of the kind of life he led, St. Peter was not ready to accept him in heaven and sent him right back to this cruel world.

Enrique Zobel, an immensely wealthy man who also happened to be a personal friend of mine and whom I was fond of was an example of a man who was given a chance to prepare for his death.  Because of a fall from his horse Juanita in Sotogrande, Spain after a polo match, EZ became a quadriplegic for almost 12 years.  For a man of his wealth and with all his jets and helicopters, the suffering he went through after the accident was enormous.  After accepting the certainty of his death, he spent his final days making peace with his Creator.

Former US presidential candidate Bob Dole aptly summed it up when he said: When it's all over, it's not who you were.  It's whether you made a difference.  When you're near the end, what is really important is what you have been able to do in your entire life, but more importantly, if the life you have led had been worth living, which makes you ready to go on to your next life.

I have known a number of people who have passed away, but none as close as my mother.  I was extremely fortunate and happy to have had her stay with me in the last two years of her life.  She was an accomplished person, a well-respected doctor who became the head of the Pathology Department at the University of Santo Tomas.  Like others who consider their mothers a saint, I was no exception.  To me, she was always a saint, perhaps because I admired that innate goodness in her.  She had always went out of her way to help people no matter what, especially those who had less in life.  I really believe that her being a doctor and this gentle kindness in her gave her that good life, preparing her for her next life.

A devout Catholic, my mother spent her last days in prayer.  Two years ago on May 1, a Saturday, my mother passed away.  In the Catholic world, the month of May is named for and dedicated to the Virgin Mary, and the first Saturday of the month is also devoted as a day of atonement to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.  A few hours before my mother died, she opened her eyes for the last time and fixed her gaze on the image of the Virgin Mary, a fact which our family priest, Fr. Eli, said is proof that perhaps the Virgin Mary had indeed taken her straight to heaven.

In ages past, the hour of death was, insofar as circumstances permitted, seen as a time of spiritual sanctity, and of last communion with those being left behind, Nuland reflected in his book.  In this life, the most important thing is to have been able to be at peace with yourself and to have your family around you.  Because at the end of the day, to live in the hearts of those you leave behind is not to die at all.

Today, Easter Sunday, we celebrate the resurrection of Christ.  By dying on the cross, He conquered death, so all of us may have eternal life with our Creator in heaven.  As Christians, we all truly believe in this miracle.

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